Leading Worship with Limited Resources

My friend, Alan Knox,  who will not be named in this post, told me about a new seminar being offered by the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina called, Worship Leader Boot Camp: Special Edition (Leading Worship with Limited Resources). Which purportedly “takes the popular Worship Leader Boot Camptraining event, offered throughout North Carolina last year, and changes the direct application of the biblical and leadership principles through practically helping churches with limited resources to engage technology and new ways of thinking to lead worship with only one or two, or perhaps no instrumentalists.” (1) — whatever that means.

By the way, since the seminar is 30$/person plus hotel, “Limited Resources” does not mean limited funds but zero to a few talentless instrumentalists (though one probably begets the other).

I have decided that I am going to be a good Christian and undercut my brothers and sisters in North Carolina. For the low price of 20$/person, I will teach you how you can truly worship with limited resource in just 4 simple verses. But wait! That’s not all, if you read this post now, I’ll throw in an extra Scripture verse that proves my bias! Speaking of scripture, let’s see if we can glean some wisdom in its pages on how to Worship with a few talentless instrumentalists.

  1. Consider killing your son, but don’t (Abraham and Isaac – Genesis 22)
  2. Learn to program a PERL array of hashes (Holy Array – 1 Chronicles 16:29)
  3. Make a footstool (Holy Footstool – Psalm 132:7)
  4. Be IN God’s spirit (True Worshiper – John 4:23)

And finally, the extra Scripture I promised you comes from Song of Solomon 8:8. Commonly referred to as the “proves everything and anything verse”. Since this is only a 20$ seminar, you’ll have to look it up on your own.

I trust you found this exciting course in Leading Worship with Limited Resources helpful. Be sure to check out my next course, How to Kill Your Enemies and Still Love Them.

Comments

  1. Lew,

    Five things: 1) Thanks for not mentioning me by name. 2) My son is a 2nd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and is learning karate. YOU try to kill him. 3) I don’t know PERL. 4) I’m not a carpenter and can barely hammer in a nail, so I know I can’t make a footstool. 5) I don’t have a sister.

    So, that only leaves #4.

    -Alan

  2. Alan, I’d be glad to help you further, but I’m afraid I haven’t received payment for you reading this article.

    Godspeed.
    Lew